5 Steps to Getting a Church Girl
Well. I’m tapping out yall.
” Hmmmm what is that Alabaster Box? Girl you can pour that on me!”
This video sent me on to glory.
I’d like to say I’ve never heard any of these lines…but I can’t. I’ve heard two, and DEFINITELY seen all kinds of variations of the church man attire. Y’all not fooling anybody in that sweater vest from Structure.
For all you girls looking to find a good man in church… think again honey!
Check out these boys –> @Kevonstage @MrAntDavis @JsonFredericks
What Whitney Houston and Questlove have in common.
“I’m not worried about bullets, I’m worried about strokes. Strokes are the new bullets.” - Questlove
I’ve only joined Janelle Monáe, George, my brothers and the rest of the Wondaland family on a number of spot dates during their extended tours around the world but yet I’ve often wondered – MAN, how do they do it? Tour life is exhilarating, but extremely exhausting leading to all kinds of health risks. Our desire to consume art and subsequently produce art is a blessing but easily a demon if not harnessed. Like our favorite artists (in the expanded sense of the word), when we repeatedly share without replenishing our spirt, we’re losing our ability to gift in its best form and we’re exhausting our body in the process. In his latest piece at Time.com, Toure takes a look at the declining health trends we’re seeing in musicians artists and what Whitney Houston’s death can teach us all. Read more:
ListFul Thinking: Why being late is LATE.
Are you the perpetually late one in your crew? Always 15-20 minutes late? Always missing a train, or bus…uh-hmh, you just can’t seem to get right.
*shaking-my-short-hair* 
You should be ashamed. At some point you’re gonna have to realize that being on time is COOL. It’s actually the thing to do. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Fool me thrice and we won’t have coordinated plans again. Growing up in a house where my dad was quick to leave anyone for church (even my mom) because they weren’t ready in time, I was pleased to see this guest post from our Word Up, Haay friend, @Bobtastiik. Bobby joins us for our Listful Thinking series and reminds us why being Late is LATE. Read more from Bobby here and check out an ‘oldie but goodie’ from our series featuring the musings of @lavvocato – Benny Walk.
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I recently met some friends for an early dinner. We coordinated a week in advance via Twitter, email and text. I made a reservation that worked for everyone’s schedule. Thirty minutes before dinner, I’m putting on my shoes and about to walk out the door; making good time. I get a text message: We’re leaving Brooklyn for the UWS in 10 minutes. We’ll be about 30 minutes late.
I arrived promptly 10 minutes early and moved the reservation back an entire hour. They arrived almost a full hour late.
When I was in undergrad, a friend of mine would always say:
To be early is to be on time. To be on time is to be late and to be late is not to be present at all.
Being late is just unacceptable in this socially and technologically advanced age. In order to prevent being that guy/girl, just follow a few easy tips:
1. Remember it’s not just about you. Your tardiness doesn’t just affect you, it affects everyone involved in the plan. The time we spend waiting on you is time we could have been doing a number of other things: more time at home, running errands, catching up with other friends or family, etc. Depending on how late you are, we could have restructured our entire day to accommodate for a change in plans but … yeah. You were late.
2. You knew you were going to be late before you were late so why didn’t everyone else? Being late didn’t just happen. It wasn’t a surprise. As soon as you remotely thought being late was a possibility, you should have something. Ring the bell early and loud. It’s better to be considerate and take precaution than to be late AND silent. Refer back to point number one.
3. If the plan was already set, why didn’t you plan ahead? You probably thought you were going to be on time. You probably thought you’d make up the time somehow. Or maybe you figured, no one would be on time so being ‘a little late’ won’t matter. It doesn’t matter what you thought, being on time will always be classy and appropriate. No one ‘makes entrances’ anymore. If your mere presence isn’t attention grabbing enough, showing up late definitely won’t add to your appeal.
4. Begin with an apology and mean it. Do not show up late like you are on time or like it’s no big deal. Offer an apology for your tardiness. It shows you have manners and respect for someone else’s time. And for God’s sake, don’t be cavalier or facetious.
5. Excuses are tools of incompetence but still, make it a good one. If you’re going to show up late, at least have an excuse worth hearing. The later you are, the more colorful and impactful the excuse should be. Don’t be an hour late and say you got caught up watching The Good Wife.
6. Being called on the carpet is only fair. Don’t get upset about being called out for being late. You were, weren’t you? Sometimes you’ve to to bite your tongue and eat a little crow when you’re in the wrong. Having to accept responsibility for your actions is a great way to ensure you keep with laudable habits.
7. Don’t arrive in or maintain a perpetual funk. So you ran out of hot water and you slipped getting out of the shower and you stubbed your toe putting on your coat and missed the Express train and had to take the local and sat next to crazy singing Amazing Grace and you tripped coming up the stairs from the subway and then got splashed by a taxi and that’s why you’re late. Take a breath, get out of your feelings and move on. There are good times to be had and you’re already late! Jump in!
8. Make an honest attempt to do better. Start setting your clock faster. Have friends call you far in advance to keep you on track. Go old school and lay your clothes out early. Do whatever you’ve got to do but for your own sake, just do better. Being late (and especially perpetually late) can make you appear flaky and flakes eventually get blown away.
So let’s meet up again. Let me know what time works for you and I’ll coordinate.
Very Truly Yours,
Impatiently Waiting (@bobtastiik)
Want to join our ListFul Thinking series? Cool, leave us a note in the comments or here.
Daddy’s girl for life. #D4L
And to this day, my father’s “Happy Valentine’s” wishes still mean the most.
Happy Valentine’s day Daddy!
Cornel West is as insecure as you are (if not more).
I just read a interesting opinion piece on Cornel West’s recent attacks at Melissa Harris-Perry and it got me thinking…
Just how far will one go to protect their ego?
Mychal D. Smith’s insightful article was in no way in defense of Melissa Harris Perry, as he notes she needs no defending, but instead a deeper diver into the oxymoronic nature of Cornel’s latest claims.
Smith states:
“West squanders his platform by reveling in personal complaints about the president not returning his phone calls.”
And there in lies Cornel’s problem.
His ego has swallowed his good sense.
Dr. West and Arizona Governor Jan Brewer have a lot in common. Their most recent temper tantrums are reminiscent of a girlfriend/boyfriend scorned. They didn’t get the attention they thought they deserved so they lashed out. Yes, lashed out. Jan took to President Obama like he was her husband who’d forgotten their anniversary — again. And Cornel, well he just reduced himself to a 5 year-old crying in the middle of Kmart because his mama didn’t buy him some Skittles. Get a hold of yourself people! Instead of admitting their true source of dissension (personal insecurities and frustration) they wrap it in political rhetoric. Jan, Cornel… We’re not buying it.
It pays to play nice. If you’re not getting the attention you seek keep trying. And for goodness sakes you have enough degrees and experience to ground your complaints in legitimate issues. We don’t care that the President didn’t call you back or that you’re jealous MSNBC passed you over for a show.
I was already tired of you telling me how to be black and now this. Get it together Dr. West. You and I both know your ‘intellectual’ title is wearing thin.
What are your thoughts? Share with the Word Up, Haay family and join the discussion on twitter
@jovizi @mychalsmith @ebonymag
Brandy & Monica reunite.
It has nothing to do with “The Boy is Mine,” so lower any expectations on that front. It is however, a nice song within it’s own right and instead of fighting over a man, girls are uniting (yay!) And plus, it definitely has all the trimmings of a song that’ll easily get stuck in your head for hours.
And can I just say…I will always love Brandy’s voice.
Can’t wait to take these two out to lunch.
Seriously, don’t you just love them!?
(s/o to Ellen though. Her form was great and she did go a bit lower than the first lady. Can’t lie Michelle! xo)
To the proverbial other woman and trifling women everywhere.
Dear other woman,
Stop being trifling.
Signed,
Womanhood (well, minus all polygamists) 
——-
(this isn’t a post about why women shouldn’t just be mad at the woman but not the man, but yes the man for cheating, blah blah blah. This is just one woman talking to another woman)
This Valentine’s Day some woman will again feel like “shyt people feel on Valentine’s day when they’re bitter.” Maybe she’s bitter because her prized ‘v’ is alone….again. Or perhaps it’s because Valentine’s Day is another anniversary marking her past pain. A reminder of your trifling behavior.
I’d write your trifling behind an open letter but I typically hate reading them…so I’ll spare you. Instead I’ll just….talk.
You’re not trifling because at your core you WANT to be —
It’s probably because…
1. You’ve been hurt and can’t let go and thus continue to hurt others. We all know “Hurt people hurt people” (especially themselves)
2. Or as a child all you saw was trifling behavior. So of course, “teach a child in way that he should go…” and off you went. Carrying a trifling lunchbox and all.
3. Or perhaps you’re not quite sure you’re actually the other woman. “Maybe she’s the trifling one.” (insert eye roll-lip pop-neck roll)
4. Mainly you can’t visualize the other woman. She’s a figment of your imagination. Someone you don’t care to believe exists. She’s just a blur. The sum total of the negative things he’s told you she’s done. To you, she’s ugly, rude, and in the damn way.
5. And or, you’re likely caught in the sick cycle. As women we hear the ridiculous stats about divorce and irreconcilable differences. The Washington Post says black women will never get married if they’re successful, and half of our friends are struggling to find a man. So when some dude (even one in a relationship) seems like he gives even the slightest damn about us we’re willing to entertain it. We scrabble. Engage in some harmless flirting at a party–exchange some witty twitter banter and emoticons (scream) and our FB messages suddenly turn X-rated. Overnight we’ve become a trifling woman. Oops.
Do you really want to be the irreconcilable differences cited in someone’s divorce papers?
“Hurt people hurt people”
I’ve been trifling before. Perhaps not like you, or perhaps just like you.
My trifling behavior stemmed from my:
1. My short sightedness. “Future what? That’ll never come. I’m going to just do this now and deal with the consequences later” (….Enters Foolisha Jovian)
2. Selfish. “I’m the ONE who deserves to be happy. Not them. Who is she anyway? Her situation isn’t like ours. She doesn’t understand or deserve this.”
3. Impatient. “God’s taking entirely too long to return my calls and its cuddle season. I want a man and I want one now.”
It’s time to change.
4 steps to stop being trifling:
1. Flip the script. How would you feel on the other side of your actions? No caveats, no excuses. Just flip it. Right now. Is it still the right thing to do?
2. WWJD. Remember that one. Now consider WWYD? (What Would Yandy Do?) How can you criticize a chick on Love & Hip Hop, when you’re acting like an understudy to someone on the cast?!
3. Stop hanging out with friends who co-sign your trifling behavior. Real friends have your BACK and your HEART and don’t mind telling you the truth about yourself. That’s what friendship is all about. We have to check each other. As easily as we’re friends today, one of us (without checking) could easily be the one cheating with our friend’s man (or woman…) You reap the skirt you sew….
4. Decide to be better. You know better than us just how trifling you are. And just how long you’ve been regretting your actions. Stop talking about being a better person and just decide to make better decisions today. We’re all in this together. And trust me your future relationships will love you for it.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever been cheated on?
Raise your hand if your friends have been cheated on?
Raise your hand if you regret the cheating you’ve done?
Now, raise your hand if you’re tired of being scared that your man will cheat on you just because of all of the cheating you’ve seen around you?
Yep, we’re all in this together.
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Thoughts? Share with the Word Up, Haay Family.
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaang.
Dimia: btw… that lebron dunk
Jovian: dude. duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudeeeeeeeeDimia: STRAIGHT DISRESPECT!
Jovian: STRAIGHT AS A PERM
Dimia: LMAO
i cant laugh out loud at workstopJovian: and blake Griffin is a neaderthal
Dimia: lol
but funny as hellJovian: never quite evolved completely
Dimia: he sounds like he’s working with a developmental disorder
Jovian: and that hair is the first tell-tell sign.
Dimia: but he’s pretty clever and sarcastic
Jovian: YES.
his hair is sarcastic
Dimia: lol
daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag.
