“People may not remember what you said or what you did, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel.”
A good reminder to us all, Happy Monday!
I know I know…where have I been!? It’s been crazy yall, but in a good way. A REALLY good way. I spent a long retreat in NC with some of my favorite people diving into self reflection concerning leadership development and purpose. It was exactly what I needed and I found myself (surprisingly) happier than I’d been in a while (coulda been the bojangles). I think the break away was JUST what I needed. I also had the chance to facilitate an “Immunity to Change” workshop for my team. It was powerful and led to some much needed tears and breakthroughs.
I don’t have time to get into it now, but if you see me tweet/FB or write about leading a session like that again soon I suggest you sign up. It has the potential to change your life. And I’m NOT just saying that because I lead it. For those of you who attended the session I did at Columbia University in March you know what I’m saying!
I’ll be moderating a panel this weekend at the Rising Affluent conference hosted at Columbia . I encourage all young professional poised to take it to to the next level to attend. Lots of great speakers and networking opportunities. Check it out here.
BTDUB: Something’s going on with me and Oprah yall. So I’ve heard people say stuff about me being like Oprah (one day)..but something’s in the air yall! In the past week appx 13 different people in 3 different states said I’m supposed to be the ‘next’ Oprah. Soon after, George told me he had a dream that I called Oprah using my cell phone (i.e. we were besties) Let’s pray on this shall we? I’m not trying to be just like her, (though I love her dearly) I just want to stay on my purpose. If it happens to go in that direction then BOOM. As my friend Hollins says “Praise whomever you Praise.”
NOW – to what this quick post was supposed to be about. Check out the below, they’re worth it. Good insights, music, fun, etc
Okay – bye! xo
This video is EXACTLY like my family.
Only we would have been singing a Stevie Wonder song. And since we took the bus to school this would have occurred on a family road trip to South Carolina. And we have two boys and one girl. And we’re black. Okay – so it’s not exactly like my childhood, but close enough.
I love this tradition. Rock on family. Rock on.
Below you’ll see a great post by Seth Godin. In a time when we’re all constantly producing new content whether that’s a new internet show, or posting new family vacation photos on Facebook, we’re pushing ourselves to be more responsive to a “like, retweet, or comment.” I’ll be the first to admit that at times I’ve been disheartened when I didn’t get the response or generate the kind of buzz I expected after posting a link/show/picture on any of my online properties. And it makes perfect sense. I’ve taken the 5 love languages and wasn’t shocked to see that “words of affirmation” was my #1 love language. I grew up in a home where the phrases “I love you” + “I’m so proud of you” + ” you can do anything Jovian“ were as pervasive as our wallpaper. And, as a long time athlete I’ve always been driven by a coach’s encouraging words/praise.
…And there it is. The truth. I like making people proud. I like representing women who look like me. BUT these feelings are juxtaposed with my belief in the Toltec principles, “The Four Agreements,” specifically the agreement that says “Always Do Your Best.” (see my previous post about the agreements here).
In today’s post Seth echos many of the sentiments described in the fourth agreement. If we’re doing our best, and doing it for ourselves and for the sake of our purpose, why do we need to be motivated by other’s approval?
Take a look at Seth’s post and share your thoughts. I’ll be sharing more of mine on an upcoming episode of “Side a Fries.”
Accept applause, sure, please do.
But when you expect applause, when you do your work in order (and because of) applause, you have sold yourself short. That’s because your work is depending on something out of your control. You have given away part of your art. If your work is filled with the hope and longing for applause, it’s no longer your work–the dependence on approval has corrupted it, turned it into a process where you are striving for ever more approval.
Who decides if your work is good? When you are at your best, you do. If the work doesn’t deliver on its purpose, if the pot you made leaks or the hammer your forged breaks, then you should learn to make a better one. But we don’t blame the nail for breaking the hammer or the water for leaking from the pot. They are part of the system, just as the market embracing your product is part of marketing.
“Here, here it is, it’s finished.”
If it’s finished, the applause, the thanks, the gratitude are something else. Something extra and not part of what you created. To play a beautiful song for two people or a thousand is the same song, and the amount of thanks you receive isn’t part of that song.