ListFul Thinking: 6 Things I’m tired of seeing & doing at church.

I was born in church. Literally. On a Sunday and on a pew. Ok, I kid, but it was close. It was definitely on a Sunday during church hours.

Both of my grandfather’s were/are pastors and countless others family members are deacon/deaconesses, ushers, leaders of the flower club, Sunday school teachers , etc.

I’d estimate that 75% of my adolescent summers were spent in vacation bible school. Yes, the real kind with box lunches, juice jugs and that one really cute boy. You remember those don’t you? Yep, I thought so.

So you see, I get it. I get church. I can throw a “churchism” in anything, and often find myself uttering an “amen” while talking to one of my VPs. She’s Jewish. Go figure.

After a certain “incident” in church this past Sunday, I realized there were just a few things I think I can say I’m tired of, after my years of faithful service. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not leaving the church, nor am I “tired” of God. I love God and that’s NEVER going to change. I am however, laughingly “tired” of seeing some of the following in 80% of the black churches I’ve attended e-v-e-r-y since I was a lower case j.

1. Ministries that “minister” when they haven’t practiced. Not saying there’s only so far the spirit can lead, but come on. God certainly cares about decency, order, and diligence. Why is your dance ministry up in the pulpit when it’s clear yall haven’t met in months??

2. Ushers with a bad attitude. Just like I say to folks who work at McDonalds, if you don’t wanna do it, then don’t. No one told you to work at McDonalds and they certainly didn’t make you join the usher board. Your job doesn’t call for a bad attitude and perhaps the Lord didn’t call you to hand out programs. There are plenty of behind the scenes jobs at a church that don’t require customer service. (perhaps, you’ll try working the sound board?)

3. The same lady who’s been doing the church announcements for the past 58 years. The church is about sharing love. Why not share the love and allow an upcoming teen leader to practice their public speaking? Let’s be serious, we can barely understand Sister Jones anymore.

4. The easy bake oven shout. You know, the one that comes out of NO where, and is SO forced it just feels ridiculous. You’re thinking..do I have to clap??? All of a sudden, after someone says “Jesus told me…” The organ starts, the SAME person starts running around the church, and the same lady falls out and barely misses slapping somebody in the face. C’mon now. Ma’am. For real? Again? Ok sure, “let Him use you.”

5. The pre-meditated offering that seems spontaneous. “The Lord laid it on my heart to invite you all to run up to this altar and give $20 to get your breakthrough.” Me: Hmmm naw. I’ll be saving my $20 for brunch, and God is still pleased.

6. Turning to my neighbor. I JUST can’t turn to my neighbor anymore!!! For more information see my previous expose.

Weeeeelllll, *Amen Lights*

Again, no hard feelings. I love the Lord and He certainly heard my cry. And yes, I still love the church. I’m just a lifetime member reflecting on my blessings.

xo,

J